For a brief moment on Friday, Albuquerque police officers wondered if it was illegal to drink and vote. Why? A woman had passed out while casting her ballot at an early voting site. Bernalillo County Clerk Maggie Toulouse Oliver doesn't know if the woman completed her ballot - she was subsequently transported by ambulance to a local hospital, which has no record of admitting her - but said it will be counted. Poll workers called police after the woman began yelling and screaming at them. When the officers arrived, she had lost consciousness with a bottle of vodka tucked into her waistband. A little checking determined that it was not illegal to be drunk when casting a ballot, but election laws do prohibit liquor at voting sites and creating a disturbance. Charges have not been filed.
Cue the whinos, beggars, thieves, Russian-Americans and homeless, this is great news for them all. If people can't admit we're the greatest democracy in the world I give them this story. Just when I had begun to lose all hope with our voting process, a story comes out that portrays the U.S. in a fair and civil light.
I believe this could be the start of a new tradition. This could overtake St. Patty's Day. I plan on getting to the bar at 6am on November 4th, drinking myself into a frenzy, stumble to the voting station and cast my vote for whoever's name I can read. This might be McCain's last chance for victory. If he can convince more Americans to get shitfaced, he might be able to pull off the miracle. We all know this was Truman's strategy in 1948 against Dewey.
On November 4, 2008, I plan on having a little Captain Morgans in me.
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