Violent crime down? Check.
Gun charges down? Check.
misdemeanors down? Check.
It seems the police throughout this great land have been doing so well lately, that they've finally focused on the true crime wave gripping America - fat chicks.
We all can relate to the plethora of fat chicks who rob the local McDonald's, eat your food when you're not looking, steal size 18 clothes off the Victoria's Secret lingerie rack and eat midgets and leprechauns. Crime like this has to stop. Each leprechaun eaten by Robin the rhinoceras means less gold for us. I am tired of following a rainbow, only to find out we've lost another one.
Men don't lose their vision with age, we lose it because we've been forced to look at women who forget to remember that you're worthless if you're not skinny. No guy wants to have sex with a chick who has more cottage cheese than Ricotta. To solve this crime wave, I propose putting all fat chicks on an island, far away from civilization, and letting them start their own country.
No one, besides black men, think fat chicks are worth having sex with. If we could convince the minorities to put their dick away around the heffers, we might be able to solve this crime wave. After all, working together helps ensures our streets are safe. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for the children. It is, after all, the youth of this country that are suffering.
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