Fat men be gone

Would the fat man, with more rolls than Dunkin Donuts, please get dressed quicker in the men's locker room at the gym? Is that too much to ask for?

After a long and boring day at work, the last thing I want to see is a 400 pound douchebag, with the penis length of a newborn boy. Why can't you get dressed in less than 2 minutes, like all normal, in-shape, heterosexual men? I know it's difficult, but standing there naked, looking at all the men come in and out of the locker room, leaves me to believe you have pedophile tendencies. Hey! NAMBLA just called, they want their playground stalker back.

I don't want to look, but that's like asking a driver not to look at a car accident. No matter how gross it may be, we slow down and look. I want my gym to have 3 locker rooms: men; women; and fat and gay people. It's gotten so bad at my gym, they had to put up a sign to stop taking camera phone pictures in the locker room.

Instead of gawking at the fit people, shouldn't you be chasing a donut down the road? You fat bastard. This place would be a lot better if the fat people would eat themselves to death. Instead they feel the need to publicly display their disgusting fat-bodies, giving us athletic people a sudden case of vomiting. I'd ask the gays to leave, but then my gym wouldn't be so nice.

I guess I could live more knowing there might be a group of faggots out there, having a circle jerk with camera phone pictures. But I draw the line when I have to see fat, nude men at the gym. Every time I try and join a woman's gym they turn me down. I think they're being a bit sexist.